My Dearest Noah and Ollie,
Once again it's been too long since I wrote my thoughts on "paper". I think of things to write all the time, and I promise myself i will write them down later, but then life happens. We are so incredibly busy, we never stop. It's hard to explain, but I can tell you that any time I said I was super busy before in my life was nothing comparing what real "busy" means today. Anyway, here I am nevertheless writing to both of you.
I've been thinking what I would like you two to learn in this world, and what I think I can help with.
Some of this might seem trivial or obvious, but I think in today's world and where it is heading , these things are sadly becoming somewhat mythical. I decided to try to focus on one thing in one post to avoid overload.
The importance and art of connecting to others:
There is so many things I could write about here, but I don't want to overwhelm, so i will only talk about the one thing I consider the most important.
Tip - Advice: always look at the person who is talking to you and the person you are talking to.
Look them in the eyes. It's a sign of basic respect, courtesy and openness. Unfortunately, too often people look at their phone or the TV or other electronic gadgets while they talk. Restaurants are now filled with television around us and everyone has their phone on the table. it makes me sad. We are losing connection. I know by the time you two will read this, you probably think you can pay attention even when you multitask; but it's not just about being able to say "aha" or hearing some words that may or may not take priority in your head. It is about CONNECTION. We are losing real connections with other humans and then we wonder why we all feel so alone. if you don't believe me, try it one day. Try to pay attention how it feels when someone really looks at you when you talk. it feels nice to get that attention and interest in what you have to say right? it's the same for others. The basic human needs don't go away just because our world is less and less accommodating to them. So please, learn to look at the person you are talking to and the person that is talking to you and have the same expectation of others: your friends, you colleagues, your spouse, your children. This issue is bigger than us but you can start changing the world for the better by starting with yourselves. And if nothing else, at least you can create YOUR own happier world. Multitasking might be handy or even necessary at times, but it also comes with the risk of not being able to give your 100% attention to anything. We are so used to multitasking that we find it hard to pay attention to one thing only. Don't forget if you don't give 100% attention to someone, you won't receive it either. Not to mention you won't be able to do anything on a high level, because multitasking means dividing not only attention but capacity and ability as well. It's a lose lose situation. Most importantly, I promise you, if you don't learn to connect with others, to really listen to understand, to really make eye contact, you will be lonely. You will be lost. You can be surrounded by hundreds of people that you might even call "friends", you will fee alone; and I promise you, there is nothing worse than being surrounded by others yet feeling alone. So look up. Look up from the TV, from your phones. Look up at others the same way you would like them to look up to you. Look them in the eyes, they tell you more with that than their words. Communication isn't only about words. it's about the non-verbal messages too. The way the eye can speak, a face expression, a gesture, a simple pause. So please boys, make time to connect and look people in their yes when you speak to them. I promise the reward will be priceless.
- Mommy
Once again it's been too long since I wrote my thoughts on "paper". I think of things to write all the time, and I promise myself i will write them down later, but then life happens. We are so incredibly busy, we never stop. It's hard to explain, but I can tell you that any time I said I was super busy before in my life was nothing comparing what real "busy" means today. Anyway, here I am nevertheless writing to both of you.
I've been thinking what I would like you two to learn in this world, and what I think I can help with.
Some of this might seem trivial or obvious, but I think in today's world and where it is heading , these things are sadly becoming somewhat mythical. I decided to try to focus on one thing in one post to avoid overload.
The importance and art of connecting to others:
There is so many things I could write about here, but I don't want to overwhelm, so i will only talk about the one thing I consider the most important.
Tip - Advice: always look at the person who is talking to you and the person you are talking to.
Look them in the eyes. It's a sign of basic respect, courtesy and openness. Unfortunately, too often people look at their phone or the TV or other electronic gadgets while they talk. Restaurants are now filled with television around us and everyone has their phone on the table. it makes me sad. We are losing connection. I know by the time you two will read this, you probably think you can pay attention even when you multitask; but it's not just about being able to say "aha" or hearing some words that may or may not take priority in your head. It is about CONNECTION. We are losing real connections with other humans and then we wonder why we all feel so alone. if you don't believe me, try it one day. Try to pay attention how it feels when someone really looks at you when you talk. it feels nice to get that attention and interest in what you have to say right? it's the same for others. The basic human needs don't go away just because our world is less and less accommodating to them. So please, learn to look at the person you are talking to and the person that is talking to you and have the same expectation of others: your friends, you colleagues, your spouse, your children. This issue is bigger than us but you can start changing the world for the better by starting with yourselves. And if nothing else, at least you can create YOUR own happier world. Multitasking might be handy or even necessary at times, but it also comes with the risk of not being able to give your 100% attention to anything. We are so used to multitasking that we find it hard to pay attention to one thing only. Don't forget if you don't give 100% attention to someone, you won't receive it either. Not to mention you won't be able to do anything on a high level, because multitasking means dividing not only attention but capacity and ability as well. It's a lose lose situation. Most importantly, I promise you, if you don't learn to connect with others, to really listen to understand, to really make eye contact, you will be lonely. You will be lost. You can be surrounded by hundreds of people that you might even call "friends", you will fee alone; and I promise you, there is nothing worse than being surrounded by others yet feeling alone. So look up. Look up from the TV, from your phones. Look up at others the same way you would like them to look up to you. Look them in the eyes, they tell you more with that than their words. Communication isn't only about words. it's about the non-verbal messages too. The way the eye can speak, a face expression, a gesture, a simple pause. So please boys, make time to connect and look people in their yes when you speak to them. I promise the reward will be priceless.
- Mommy
