I'm trying to write to you guys more on the computer or on my phone. I've been writing by hand in journals but for some strange reason I find it harder. I keep thinking what would be the best platform to write, but as I keep thinking about it, time goes by and nothing gets written. So I figured I just start writing here NOW.
I went back to work yesterday. I thought it might be easier to leave my babies behind the second time, but it's not. It's excruciating. Like someone cut my arms off. I know it will be okay, and I know you guys are okay but still. I think you Noah are used to it and even though you cry a bit when we drop you off, I think you actually like being with other kids. You Oliver are so little still. It breaks my heart separating from you, as you seem so fragile. You have been spending 24/7 with me since birth so it's been very difficult to part. I count the minutes till I can pick you up and hold you.
Tomorrow you will be 3 months old:) and you are cuter than ever. You are always smiling...and smiling in a way that lights up an entire room. I hope you never lose this contagious smile.
I just need to say how much I love both of you! Sometimes it's so much love I side, that it's hard to even breathe. I just want to scream to the entire world how much I love you guys.
Noah you had a rough half an hour before going to bed. You had fun bathing but you hate brushing your teeth. I'm sorry you don't like it or if it's uncomfortable buddy, but we do it so you don't have any problems with your teeth later. Trust me it's worth to deal with problems later than simply brushing your teeth now. And it doesn't hurt. We could actually have fun with it. I hope you realize that soon. You started to cry because I didn't let you play with medication and Daddy's phone and when you get into these anxiety cries, you have a hard time stopping. I know how you just feel because I've always been the same. As I get older I learn more and more how to manage and control my overwhelming emotions but you are too little for that and you can't speak much yet so I'm sure it's super frustrating. But listen, you need to take deep breaths when this happens. Try to snuggle with something and breathe slowly and deeply. Look at mommy or daddy and I promise the wave will pass. You are an amazing little boy and I know you can do this. And never forget that no matter what happens, no matter what life brings, we are always here for you. Right now daddy means the world to you but I'm here. I always have been and I always will be no matter what.
I have to try to sleep now, I have to get up at 5 to get ready for work and feed and dress Ollie.
I love you guys.
- Mommy/Anya
I went back to work yesterday. I thought it might be easier to leave my babies behind the second time, but it's not. It's excruciating. Like someone cut my arms off. I know it will be okay, and I know you guys are okay but still. I think you Noah are used to it and even though you cry a bit when we drop you off, I think you actually like being with other kids. You Oliver are so little still. It breaks my heart separating from you, as you seem so fragile. You have been spending 24/7 with me since birth so it's been very difficult to part. I count the minutes till I can pick you up and hold you.
Tomorrow you will be 3 months old:) and you are cuter than ever. You are always smiling...and smiling in a way that lights up an entire room. I hope you never lose this contagious smile.
I just need to say how much I love both of you! Sometimes it's so much love I side, that it's hard to even breathe. I just want to scream to the entire world how much I love you guys.
Noah you had a rough half an hour before going to bed. You had fun bathing but you hate brushing your teeth. I'm sorry you don't like it or if it's uncomfortable buddy, but we do it so you don't have any problems with your teeth later. Trust me it's worth to deal with problems later than simply brushing your teeth now. And it doesn't hurt. We could actually have fun with it. I hope you realize that soon. You started to cry because I didn't let you play with medication and Daddy's phone and when you get into these anxiety cries, you have a hard time stopping. I know how you just feel because I've always been the same. As I get older I learn more and more how to manage and control my overwhelming emotions but you are too little for that and you can't speak much yet so I'm sure it's super frustrating. But listen, you need to take deep breaths when this happens. Try to snuggle with something and breathe slowly and deeply. Look at mommy or daddy and I promise the wave will pass. You are an amazing little boy and I know you can do this. And never forget that no matter what happens, no matter what life brings, we are always here for you. Right now daddy means the world to you but I'm here. I always have been and I always will be no matter what.
I have to try to sleep now, I have to get up at 5 to get ready for work and feed and dress Ollie.
I love you guys.
- Mommy/Anya
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