To My Baby...My First Thoughts

To My Baby...My First Thoughts

It's only been two weeks since I learned about you. You are barely more than the size of a lentil, earning you the name your father is so proudly using: "Kicsi Lencse". It has not been an easy couple of weeks as I'm struggling through constant morning sickness and exhaustion - a lousy, achy, nauseous feeling - I've never experienced before. Your father has been wonderful taking care of me, or I should say taking care of "Us" which just tells me that he will be a wonderful Daddy to you. Of course, like every other child that has ever met him, you are going to think he is the coolest. And he probably is:)

I have a hard time feeling so sick nonstop. No one ever told me that morning sickness isn't just in the morning. They really need to find a different name for it, unless it's an intentional mislead of anxious "wanna be moms". I am well aware that every pregnancy is different, but I still would have preferred a heads up. Everything I've read tells me that none of what I feel is uncommon or unusual as my body is making your little nest for the next 8 months. But it's not easy.

I have been going to work every day pretending that everything is normal, while I can barely drag myself through my three and a half hour commute each day, let alone trying to focus on work while feeling like I'm going to pass out. My entire body and head feels like a truck run over me and I could fall asleep any minute even while I'm standing.

Nobody knows about you yet except your Daddy and now my parents (your grandparents), which I have to say have been incredibly difficult. We have been waiting for you for a long time and we want to make sure that you don't change your mind before we tell the world. You won't change your mind, right? 

Waiting for your arrival is incredible and scary at the same time. You will change every aspect of our lives, and we have no idea what to expect. At the same time, you are already part of us and our lives in a way that is hard to describe. You determine what I eat and drink, when I sleep, how I feel, everything. I wish I could see your tiny face already. I wish I could feel your little fingers wrap around mine, so that I knew you were real. Don't get me wrong, the constant sickness is definitely confirming that you are real, but it's different.

I've decided to write about you and I as we go through this journey together. I hope you don't mind. Most likely I will also post tons of pictures of you when you arrive; while I know that there will be a day when you will demand your privacy and will want to post your own stuff online - as your Daddy says it "on the line". And that's okay, as long as you let me be your online "friend".

We will go to the doctor tomorrow morning for check up. I will write more after...  

12/10/2014

My Experience As An Eagle

My Eagle Experience

I have no intention to give advice, preach or tell anyone how to go about their own experience. I think that would be presumptuous. I simply felt like writing about my own experience. I might share it if I feel like it may help, motivate or guide others, but truthfully, that is not up to me anyway. It is up to them.

Being a college athlete in America is a unique experience - very different than in any other country. Being an athlete at an institution like Boston College is a privilege…an opportunity of a lifetime. Unfortunately, what I see is that not everyone appreciates it the way they should; therefore undermining not only their own experience but possibly that of others sharing it with them or following their footsteps.

I played 4 years on the women’s tennis team, graduating in 2006. During this time, I got a world-class education – for free, met amazing friends – for a lifetime, played the sport I loved - or at the very least, respected, and felt like a “star”. Not the kind that gives autographs; but rather, a “lucky star”.

See, feeling confident while being grateful is very different than feeling entitled while being arrogant. I see too many high school athletes getting into colleges, making it on the team in whatever sport they play, and acting like celebrities. They walk around like they have already put something down on the table, like they own the place, like they are better than others. And that is one of the biggest mistake they can make.

I am all for being proud to be a student athlete, and using past achievements as a source of motivation and stepping stone for future success. But I don’t care how good you are or were in high school. I don’t care how many games, tournaments or matches you won in your career. I don’t care how many colleges fought for you. I don’t care if your plan is to go on tour and I don’t care if you make it there one day. If you cannot remain true to yourself, if you cannot feel gratitude towards the sport, the fans, the institution that has given you such an opportunity and most of all if you cannot respect your teammates and your coach, you failed. It is that simple.

An athlete isn’t an athlete just because she pushes her limits, challenges herself, trains and sweats, wins or loses. An athlete is an athlete when she knows how to win respectfully, how to lose and get back up gracefully, how to support her team, how to be part of a team, how to respect herself and others, and how to be grateful.

And this is what our team knew how to do. We didn’t achieve what we achieved because of our tennis skills. We succeeded because we were a team - including Coach. It didn’t matter who was the best, and it didn’t matter who wasn’t. Just like it didn’t matter whether we thought Coach was a good coach or not. What mattered was that we were all in the same boat - together.

We shared the same experience, showed up for the same practices, lived in the same dorms, traveled to the same trips, competed against the same teams and we all took responsibility for our part. Some of us were motivators, some of us took the role of the “mother hen”, some of us were fighters, some of us were supporters or cheerleaders, some of us were leaders, and some of us were followers. It didn’t matter. We all took or fell into a role, and gave it our 100%. And this is what made us winners in the sense that I want to be a winner. To me, winning isn’t just about winning a match or being no. 1, or no. 3 or number whatever on a team that I belong to no matter what. It is about a way of life that is so much bigger and so much more sustainable than any single win on the court.

So if I can take the liberty to give any advice to any student athlete is start thinking as “We” instead of “I and always, I mean ALWAYS, give your best effort. No one can ask you to give more than that, but no one, especially not you, should ever think to expect less of you than giving your best. Only you know how to do that, and only you know when you are really giving it. It is your basic obligation to stay true to yourself.

If you can master these things – both on and off the court, you are golden. You will not only be a great athlete, but also a great person, a great friend, a great role model or inspiration, and a great protagonist of your life. Who wouldn’t want that?