The Day of my Citizenship Interview

The Day of my Citizenship Interview

The Day has come. Finally. After almost 20 years in the United States, I have finally arrived to this milestone. I took my civics test today and interview for the approval of my American citizenship in Boston, MA in the JFK Building. 

My appointment was set for 7:00 am and I arrived promptly, despite some unexpected traffic during a pandemic and school vacation week. I walked into the building, where I went through security, put my mask on and went to the 6th floor. There, they took my temperature (standard procedure nowadays everywhere) and gave me my assigned number "P1". 

I was seated in a room where chairs were positioned 6 feet apart, with only one other individual "P2". 

P2 was called inside within ten minutes, but for some unknown reason, I was waiting 45 minutes. I was growing frustrated, not because I mind the wait (after all, I waited 20 years already) but because I was nervous about the virus. Finally they called me in, went through my application file, asked some general questions, including whether I wanted to change my name. This took me by surprise. There has been so many back and forth about my name in the past few years, and every time I waiver a bit. I kept my name when I married Ruben, because I couldn't imagine myself as anything else than Szilvia Szegedi. 

Then my children were born, and they got Daddy's name. At least one last name: Martin. And all of a sudden that is all I wanted. I always thought when I finally get my citizenship, I will change it to match theirs. But then the application time came and I went back and forth, soliciting more than a couple of people's input. Finally, I decided to keep my name. My children carry my last name as their middle name anyway. We all have different last names, but we are one family. And I was glad to keep the name I had for nearly 40 years. 

But then, today when the woman asked me about it again, I couldn't help but doubt myself...again. I truly hate this feeling. I was so excited to be over with and pass the test but this put a cloud over my head as I walked out of there with doubts about my decision. I stuck with my decision because I knew I thought it through once already and made a decision. An impulsive decision wouldn't have been better. So many things are uncertain nowadays, I need to trust some of my decisions at least. 

So, I kept my name. The civics test contains of 10 question, of which, I must answer 6 correctly. Since I answered the first six correctly, there was no more questions. They asked:

1. What is the capitol of Massachusetts?
2. What happened on September 11, 2001?
3. What does the judicial part of the government do? 
4. What is one responsibility assigned to the federal government? 
5. For how many years do we choose a representative? 
6. Who makes federal laws? 

Once I passed that test, I had to write down: Mexico is south of the United States.  

And I had to read what country is south of the United States? 

After this, she sent my recommendation for approval for my citizenship, congratulated me, and told me the oath ceremony would be in a week or two. Big step in my life, and it has not sunken in yet. It's weird. I thought I would feel such a high after but I am anxious and I don't know why, other than I always do the same thing after a big event, I anticipate how excited I will be after but then I just feel a big void. 

In any case, I know this is huge and I am happy it's over. And I am still Szilvia Szegedi, proud mama to Noah and Oliver Martin - the best things that have ever happened to me. 

Notes to remember from the book "The Choice"

Notes to remember from the book "The Choice"

Exceptional book. I've read a lot of self helping book or memoir but not many had such a great impact on me as this one. Dr. Eger is amazing. Her story is amazing, though sadly one in many many of the Holocaust survivors. But her triumph, her way of not only surviving but thriving is exceptional. 

I am still reading it, but there has been a couple of points she makes that I want to remember and practice in my life, so I decided to write them down:

1. No blame: 

Take responsibility for your own actions and words. Before you say or do anything ask:

Is this kind? 

Is it important?

Does it help? 

2. Use teamwork to achieve common goals. If the house needs cleaning, each member of the family should have an age appropriate job. If you decide to watch or go to the movies - take turns to choose the movie. No one bears the wheel all the way. 

3. Be consistent - if curfew has been established, it can't change last minute. 

To keep in your mind and heart

 To keep in your mind and heart

Recently I read:

12 most important teachings of Buddhism about human relationships

1. Don't feel bad because there are people who only remember you when they need you. Feel privileged to have the candle in their minds that burns when they are in the dark.

2. There will always be someone in your life who does not treat you well. Thank him for making you stronger.

3. If someone mistreats you, remember:

There is something wrong with him, not you. Healthy people do not destroy each other.

4. When it hurts, listen. Life is trying to teach you something.

5. There are three solutions to every problem: accept, change, or let go. If you can't accept, make a difference. If you can't change it, let it go.

6. Let people judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. What they think of you is not your problem. Their opinion will not pay your bills. So stay kind, love persistently and be a free personality, whatever they say or do, never doubt your value and the beauty of truth. Keep shining and let the haters hate.

7. No matter how educated, talented, cool, or rich you think you are, the way you treat others will eventually tell you all about you. Integrity is everything.

8. The less you care what people think of you, the happier you will be.

9. Silence is the best answer to those who don't appreciate your words.

10. If you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot. When you understand that everything starts from you, you will find peace and joy.

11. Where there is no respect, there is no love.

12. Relationships never die natural death. They are killed by ego, rejection and attitude.