I want a puppy - but do I?

I want a puppy - but do I?

I would like a puppy. I had one growing up (Pongo) and I think it was the best thing in my childhood. My parents would not like me saying that but it's the truth. I think it's a must for every kid and I certainly would like to give that to Noah and Ollie. But I can't imagine to work with it right now. 

I am thinking maybe when they are both in school? Like in 3 years? Something non-shedding for sure. I can't deal with the fur cleaning. 

Whatever happens in this life, Noah and Ollie will have a puppy. It's the right thing for any kid. It's a MUST. 

it helps with their confidence, their fears and doubts, it teaches them friendship, unconditional love, respect, humility, caring, trusting and soooo much more!!!

I promise you guys will have a dog!

Love, Mommy

I am jealous - and it's okay

I am jealous - and it's okay

Yes. I said it. I have tried to avoid that word, but I finally said it. I am jealous.
I'm jealous of every women and every mom who can work but still pick up their kids after school and spend time with them, help them with homework or take them to sports or other extra curriculum activities they enjoy and actually get to see it.

I am jealous of those moms, who get to work from home, or only work part time something fun for some extra cash that they can then spend on themselves or their family's leisure. I am jealous of those who have family members near by to help them, to cook for them, or pop over to watch the kids, or pick up the kids and transport them to a game, etc.

There I said it. I am jealous. I envy that it seems like they have it all. It makes me mad at myself for not plan well for the future and pursue a career that would ultimately allow me for a more flexible lifestyle.

Now, I also have to say the positive here, as my new approach to life is as follows:
It's okay to be negative and say negative things, but I must balance it out with the same amount of energy and time spent on positive. So here I am:
I love the people I work with. I sometimes like what I do, though not all the time. I like that I am not constantly stressed out at work, and that i can leave on time most of the time, and that I get to work from home twice a week. I do love working...some. Would be better without the 3 hour commute, but otherwise, I do like it. I think. It gives good insurance too which we need since Ruben is self employed.
Oh did i mention that I envy those women whose husbands can carry the insurance, so they can have a bit more freedom in what they work and how much. But to state the positive, my husband can fix ANYthing.

My new motto is: IT'S OKAY.

It's okay to be tired. It's okay if my house isn't always in perfect order. It's okay if I just want to drink coffee and watch AGT Golden Buzzers. It's okay to lose my shit at times. It's okay to feel jealous at times. It's okay.


Noah is going to Kindergarten in about 10  months, and I have no idea how we will manage our schedules. Our system is just not cut out for those where both parents work full time and do not have extended family to help.
We are trying to move to Mansfield but I am not sure it's for the right reasons. Do we really need MCC so badly? Can the kids be okay in their public schools before and after school? Could I just figure out the summer somehow or hope to sign them up for MCC only then and stay in Foxboro? Do we really have to go through another move? What's best for the kids? What works for our schedules and jobs? What works for us as a family? How can i be there for my kids for their sports and home work and still get to enjoy some time without stressing out about every tiny delay or scheduling hick up? Should I stay home? Could i do that? How would that impact us as a family? Would i actually feel better? Or would i feel lost?

I think if we found the right house I wouldn't question it so much. After all, I wanted to live in Mansfield for year. But why?? I actually have no idea. I don't have a particular reason, it just always seemed like a great town.

Anyway, I wish I could get some advice from someone in the same shoes, but it seems like everyone has some kind of help or special circumstance that makes it a bit easier. So i am jealous, but I WILL figure it out. We will figure it out. All I want is all of us to be healthy and happy!