My Dear Noah,
This entry is less for you and more for my own memory. You are growing so fast and it feels like every day you surprise us with something new (and very cute) and I am afraid i will not remember them all. First of all, I love how you can't pronounce the letter "F" and you say "s" instead. so you say "siresighters" which is just adorable.
You love explaining things over and over. You have so much to say about things and with such conviction. You are animated, you gesture, you make all kinds of face expressions. Don't lose that liveliness and never let anyone make you think that what you have to say isn't worth listening to.
You are also amazingly charming and you know exactly how to steal my heart. You say please and "legyszi" in hungarian and you give me kisses every time you get something you want. I am not going to lie, it sweeps me off my feet every time.
I started to take you to Hungarian school in Lexington. it's just "ovoda" for 3 year olds, so it's mostly singing and reading and playing but I hope it will help you learn some Hungarian, and come to love my country and culture. I know I love it.
You have a hard time accepting when you can't get what you want, but i think i am starting to understand that you just don't like being completely out of control. Nobody does i think. I realized that you are an amazingly mature little boy when it comes to responsibility. What i mean by that is that if you believe in something you do it and you follow through. You are not the kind of person that likes being told what to do, and you challenge it with your entire being. But if I talk to you and reason with you and make you understand why something is good or important, you actually do it and you do it well.
Unfortunately part of parenting means that i can't always reason with you, simply because you are too little to understand, but I hope you can and will always trust me. Sometimes I will have to say no for your own benefit, and sometimes i will have to say no for the greater good - but I promise there is not a single decision I make without love for you.
Anyway, a little more about you. You love dogs, and firefighters, and police. You like playing outside and be daddy's little helper. You love Legos and robots and anything that you can build and you are VERY good at it. You have an ability to see things through way beyond your age.
Interestingly (or maybe not since I've always been the same), you are very competitive. Not really with others but with yourself. You love learning new things and you like challenge but you hate feeling that you don't succeed and you get frustrated instead of giving it another shot. believe me, I say it from experience and from some feeling of regret, just don't give up. Keep trying. You can do anything you set your mind to, I promise you! Some things take practice for everyone. Just trust in your abilities, and keep at it. You will move mountains.
And lastly, you are an extremely caring little boy. I'm yet to see a child in your age that is as caring as you. You are always the first to help someone, the first to say something kind, the first to the rescue. I guess I shouldn't wonder why you like firefighters so much. They are super hero rescuers as well. Just like you. One day I can see you have a profession where you help others. I love that about you.
At night you like going to bed with me and after reading books and talking to each other (which i love by the way), you like going "in the cave" (meaning under the sheets) with your red gummy bear light and you always ask me to give you an "itsy bitsy spider massage" (sasage as you say), which is just me singing the song and walking my fingers on your back or arms or neck (and sometimes your teeth because you like to ask silly things).
Well that's it for today my love.
Love,
- Mommy
Monday, September 24, 2018
Look them in the eye - and you will never be alone
Look them in the eye - and you will never be alone
My Dearest Noah and Ollie,
Once again it's been too long since I wrote my thoughts on "paper". I think of things to write all the time, and I promise myself i will write them down later, but then life happens. We are so incredibly busy, we never stop. It's hard to explain, but I can tell you that any time I said I was super busy before in my life was nothing comparing what real "busy" means today. Anyway, here I am nevertheless writing to both of you.
I've been thinking what I would like you two to learn in this world, and what I think I can help with.
Some of this might seem trivial or obvious, but I think in today's world and where it is heading , these things are sadly becoming somewhat mythical. I decided to try to focus on one thing in one post to avoid overload.
The importance and art of connecting to others:
There is so many things I could write about here, but I don't want to overwhelm, so i will only talk about the one thing I consider the most important.
Tip - Advice: always look at the person who is talking to you and the person you are talking to.
Look them in the eyes. It's a sign of basic respect, courtesy and openness. Unfortunately, too often people look at their phone or the TV or other electronic gadgets while they talk. Restaurants are now filled with television around us and everyone has their phone on the table. it makes me sad. We are losing connection. I know by the time you two will read this, you probably think you can pay attention even when you multitask; but it's not just about being able to say "aha" or hearing some words that may or may not take priority in your head. It is about CONNECTION. We are losing real connections with other humans and then we wonder why we all feel so alone. if you don't believe me, try it one day. Try to pay attention how it feels when someone really looks at you when you talk. it feels nice to get that attention and interest in what you have to say right? it's the same for others. The basic human needs don't go away just because our world is less and less accommodating to them. So please, learn to look at the person you are talking to and the person that is talking to you and have the same expectation of others: your friends, you colleagues, your spouse, your children. This issue is bigger than us but you can start changing the world for the better by starting with yourselves. And if nothing else, at least you can create YOUR own happier world. Multitasking might be handy or even necessary at times, but it also comes with the risk of not being able to give your 100% attention to anything. We are so used to multitasking that we find it hard to pay attention to one thing only. Don't forget if you don't give 100% attention to someone, you won't receive it either. Not to mention you won't be able to do anything on a high level, because multitasking means dividing not only attention but capacity and ability as well. It's a lose lose situation. Most importantly, I promise you, if you don't learn to connect with others, to really listen to understand, to really make eye contact, you will be lonely. You will be lost. You can be surrounded by hundreds of people that you might even call "friends", you will fee alone; and I promise you, there is nothing worse than being surrounded by others yet feeling alone. So look up. Look up from the TV, from your phones. Look up at others the same way you would like them to look up to you. Look them in the eyes, they tell you more with that than their words. Communication isn't only about words. it's about the non-verbal messages too. The way the eye can speak, a face expression, a gesture, a simple pause. So please boys, make time to connect and look people in their yes when you speak to them. I promise the reward will be priceless.
- Mommy
Once again it's been too long since I wrote my thoughts on "paper". I think of things to write all the time, and I promise myself i will write them down later, but then life happens. We are so incredibly busy, we never stop. It's hard to explain, but I can tell you that any time I said I was super busy before in my life was nothing comparing what real "busy" means today. Anyway, here I am nevertheless writing to both of you.
I've been thinking what I would like you two to learn in this world, and what I think I can help with.
Some of this might seem trivial or obvious, but I think in today's world and where it is heading , these things are sadly becoming somewhat mythical. I decided to try to focus on one thing in one post to avoid overload.
The importance and art of connecting to others:
There is so many things I could write about here, but I don't want to overwhelm, so i will only talk about the one thing I consider the most important.
Tip - Advice: always look at the person who is talking to you and the person you are talking to.
Look them in the eyes. It's a sign of basic respect, courtesy and openness. Unfortunately, too often people look at their phone or the TV or other electronic gadgets while they talk. Restaurants are now filled with television around us and everyone has their phone on the table. it makes me sad. We are losing connection. I know by the time you two will read this, you probably think you can pay attention even when you multitask; but it's not just about being able to say "aha" or hearing some words that may or may not take priority in your head. It is about CONNECTION. We are losing real connections with other humans and then we wonder why we all feel so alone. if you don't believe me, try it one day. Try to pay attention how it feels when someone really looks at you when you talk. it feels nice to get that attention and interest in what you have to say right? it's the same for others. The basic human needs don't go away just because our world is less and less accommodating to them. So please, learn to look at the person you are talking to and the person that is talking to you and have the same expectation of others: your friends, you colleagues, your spouse, your children. This issue is bigger than us but you can start changing the world for the better by starting with yourselves. And if nothing else, at least you can create YOUR own happier world. Multitasking might be handy or even necessary at times, but it also comes with the risk of not being able to give your 100% attention to anything. We are so used to multitasking that we find it hard to pay attention to one thing only. Don't forget if you don't give 100% attention to someone, you won't receive it either. Not to mention you won't be able to do anything on a high level, because multitasking means dividing not only attention but capacity and ability as well. It's a lose lose situation. Most importantly, I promise you, if you don't learn to connect with others, to really listen to understand, to really make eye contact, you will be lonely. You will be lost. You can be surrounded by hundreds of people that you might even call "friends", you will fee alone; and I promise you, there is nothing worse than being surrounded by others yet feeling alone. So look up. Look up from the TV, from your phones. Look up at others the same way you would like them to look up to you. Look them in the eyes, they tell you more with that than their words. Communication isn't only about words. it's about the non-verbal messages too. The way the eye can speak, a face expression, a gesture, a simple pause. So please boys, make time to connect and look people in their yes when you speak to them. I promise the reward will be priceless.
- Mommy
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