First Day of First Grade - Noah

09.06.2022

My Dearest Noah,

Here we are - 1st grade!!! You are growing up too fast and it makes my heart churn. I love watching you grow but it makes me sad how fast time flies. I want to hold onto every moment - every day a little longer. You are growing up. Your face is losing the baby like features and you are starting to resemble a young man. I am not ready! Stop the clock!

You have come a long way this past summer. We weaned you off of a dozen medications, you started to eat (even more than Ollie) and you are growing my love. You are getting stronger EVERY DAY. You have lost 3 teeth as well. It's like everything in your body is catching up and getting so strong!

I love you with all my heart. I know you know that. I know you feel that. Have the time of your life every day. Enjoy learning but most of all sweetheart - HAVE FUN! MAKE FRIENDS! Nothing else matters at this stage of your life. Do NOT worry. Relax and enjoy the ride. Keep smiling! Be kind to others - including yourself. Don't be hard on yourself - you got this. Remember, perfection is in the imperfections. Life is beautiful because it isn't perfect. People are special because they aren't perfect. Give yourself a break sometimes - and just enjoy the little things. you will soar to amazing heights and everything that happens will take you exactly where you need to be. Don't try to control where life takes you - it has a plan just for you and it has a place just for you. 

Enjoy 1st Grade - can't wait to hear about everything every day:)

Love, 

- Mommy

First Day of Kindergarten - Ollie

09.06.2022

My Dearest Ollie,

Here we are - the long awaited day: THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN. 

It feels like a big chapter has closed, almost an era. We said good bye to Mansfield Children's Center (MCC) last Friday and I am not going to lie - it was emotional. We LOVE that place. It has become a part of our home and family and it is bittersweet to move on. It's exciting to embark on the new journey and watch you guys grown but it is sad to leave the "baby" chapter behind. 

In any case, you are ready! You are excited. So much so, that when they sent us home today because it was too early to go in - you cried and refused to buckle in the car. I don't know if you are just excited to meet new people, or excited to go where Noah is going, or both, but you are so happy. 

It is a yucky day - pouring cats and dogs since yesterday but nothing can fade your emotions:) 

I hope you have a blast. I hope you fall in love with learning. I hope you make many friends - or even just one. I hope you lie your teacher. I hope school is everything you expect and more. I hope you will come home as happy as you go in. 

You are an amazing human being. You are loved. You are funny, kind hearted and adventurous (sometimes too much). You are determined, witty, clever and most of all you got the secret ingredient: gumption! Never cease to smile my little one - you bring light to this world and everyone around you. 

Shine like a bright star along the way - and enjoy every second. 

Love

-Mommy

We did it!

My Dearest Noah, 

I was waiting for this for so long! Ever since we found out about your adrenal insufficiency 2 days before Christmas I have been leaving in fear. We have been living in fear. My mind was going crazy wondering if we should have noticed things sooner, if we have missed something. etc and mostly, I have been so worried about anything happening to you. I breathe for you my dear Noah. I cannot stand the thought of ANYTHING happening to you. 

It's been 4 months and the doctor has been telling us that even though they suspect secondary (central) adrenal insufficiency caused by your asthma inhalers, the likelihood of reversing it is questioned and takes between 6 months to 3 years. Nothing but time can tell if it's secondary which makes me sick to my stomach, what if it's not, what it's something worse, what if time works against us. 

I have been determined and persistent for years now trying to find  out why are you not feeling well all the time. You haven't grown for 3 years in heights and you are now at 4% on the growth curve. You don't eat. You have constant stomach pain (my heart breaks for you - it's been so many I think you are terrified of any pain). And now you are at high risk for severe outcomes for anything. What is going on - I asked myself countless times. 

Long story short, I never gave up. I went doctor to doctor, I learned everything I could learn about all your diagnoses and symptoms, I kept a daily diary on all of you symptoms and in my gut I knew I can't give up. 

In a way finding out this scary disease put my mind at ease - because it took two years to even find an answer. Now it's dealing with the answer that is hard. But my darling Noah - we were adamant with Daddy to run your blood test for a morning cortisol even though the doctor said no way it's reversed yet. We wanted to know if we are even going in the right direction by reducing your asthma medicine. And a miracle happened! You passed! You needed a minimum of 10 and you had 13.4! I couldn't believe my eyes! It's a miracle. I very well deserved and much needed miracle my love. 

I am still worried - I think I will need a long time before I am not but I am so relieved and so happy for you. We did it! You have been a trooper. You have gone through so many doctors poking you and you were so brave! You were so scared so many times but you trusted us and you did what we asked. You are so aware of your body and mind - it is truly amazing. I wish you didn't have to be brave. I wish you never had any issues so we didn't have to get so numb to the poking but nevertheless we did it. And I fell like we did it as a team! I am so so proud of you! And I love you to the moon back a thousand times. 

-Mommy