Networking
or working the net?
“Networking is a powerful tool.” I bet you heard this
statement hundreds of times before. But have you ever given it a second
thought? Have you ever taken the time to think about it and ask yourself:
A tool for what? Where can we get it? Can we buy it, order it or
download it? How do we use it? Does it have an App? Does it have an instruction
manual?
Well, here are my two cents:
I would like to call networking a skill rather than a tool.
You can’t buy it, download it, or order it. But you can learn it, improve it
and leverage it. And you know what you can do? You are going to love this one:
You can customize it.
You can build your very own networking skills and ultimately
your very own network. You can customize it to your needs, lifestyle and
personality. How cool is that? Now, of course it doesn’t come instantly, nor it
is packed in a box like when you build your very own Nike shoes online.
But oh boy, are the results worth it! The gratification is
endless. Can you imagine? Something of your own that is personalized just to
accommodate your desires, satisfy your needs and help achieve your very own
goals! And on top of it, it’s timeless!
But the truth is it’s not an easy thing to practice effectively;
at least, not for all of us. Yes, some people have natural networking skills,
but many if not most of us have to learn. This jib-jab is for those in the
latter category.
Let me give you a hint. It is not just about “working the
net”. Yep, you heard it. If you want to get the real thing, the one that is
customized and one of a kind, and hold endless opportunities, you must learn to
put your computer, iPhone, iPad, smartphone, Facebook, Twitter, Snap-Chat, and
other trendy electronic and online “tools” on hold once in a while and join the
real world.
Don’t get me wrong, those “tools” mentioned above can also
serve your cause, and nowadays it is indeed a valuable part of networking. I am
simply saying that solely working the net alone isn’t what will get you true
friends, a helping hand when you really need it, the honest feedback that makes
you reach for your goals and beyond, the job offer you really want, or the
wonder of human connections we all strive for in life.
The networking I’m talking about, the one I recommend to
everyone, is about building meaningful relationships, mutually sharing your
thoughts and ideas, opening up and letting people in, letting them see who you
are and being open to see who they are.
This is about much more than following, linking, tagging,
tweeting, liking, googling, cyber-chatting, or photo-sharing. After all, how
many times did someone invite you to their house only because you “liked” their
postings, or re-tweeted their tweet? Or when was the last time someone helped
you out or offered you a job because you are of their 1,387 followers or
because you are following one of their followers?
I bet your answer doesn’t
include “all the time” or “many” or “last week”. If you are only willing
to reach out to someone through your apps, and if you can’t hold a conversation
without glancing at your phone every five minutes, why would anyone bother
giving you more attention? And let’s be honest. Some of you probably tweet
while you are posting something on Facebook, while you are eating dinner alone
or with some remaining friends who are also snap-chatting with someone who
isn’t even their friends. And on and on
it goes.
I regret to inform you that these relationships of yours
that take 89% of your time if not more will mean about 0.089% long term. If you
are content with that, please, be my guest and keep tweeting and linking and
liking. Oh, and be sure never to give undivided attention to anyone including
yourself.
But if you would like to join those of us who still give a
dang, allow me to tell you how the real deal works, at least on my experience:
It is about shaking hands, looking into other people’s eyes,
listening to what they really have to say, and remembering most of it. It is
about following up and saying thank you, taking and giving feedback face to
face, learning about one another and building a solid foundation for ongoing
relationships…ones both parties can count on. But what does this all mean?
It means putting yourself out there and risking being
vulnerable rather than hiding behind various apps and devices. It means opening
up your mind and heart and trusting that people will “handle it with care”.
But most of all, it means responsibility. You must own up to
your part of these relationships, and you must nurture them. When it’s real,
when it’s standing in front of you and staring you in the face, you can’t just
unlink, delete or ignore without consequences. You must practice patience,
empathy, care and most of all, respect.
Again, I’m not saying ignore the online aspect of social
networking. In fact, just the opposite. Social media platforms can help
reconnect, reunite, reignite old connections, initiate new ones, and keeping in
touch with people all over the world. Being active on these channels can certainly
play for your advantage, if you do it with purpose and if it complements the
face-to-face interactions. Be aware of the benefits, as well as the challenges
and limitations and use them wisely. Know that they cannot replace the power of
real-life interactions, connections, and relationships. And lastly, don’t ever confuse
“working the net” with the power of real networking.
More to come...
8/27/2013
